There's My Kevin

     I laid in bed in the early morning. I was awake but not willing to open my eyes due to the bright light shining in from the window. My side of the bed is always in the direct line of brightness every morning. I felt movement from his side of the bed. His hand touched my arm. I kept my eyes closed. That is when I felt his hand grasp the top of the blanket and maneuver it so that it was higher than my face. Therefor, blocking the line of bright morning sun from hitting my face. After my face was back in darkness, I felt him lay back down and fall asleep again. My heart swelled as I slowly peeked my eye open and saw him laying there peacefully. There's my Kevin.


    We are doing very well. I have seen a drastic change in his personality since things have gotten back to normal. He has been putting a lot of effort into looking and applying for jobs. His personality is no longer grumpy and weird. He shaved off his mohawk and growing beard because, "It does not look professional". His words, not mine. He has even..wait for it....stopped smoking *round of applause everyone*. I am so very proud of him. I can not express fully to you all how much I am proud of his efforts. Of course he is frustrated because he wants to have a job yesterday. I can not blame him because I know how frustrating it is. But I am so proud of him for not giving up. I am so proud of him for continuing to try and persevere. Most of all, I am proud of him for realizing what needs to be fixed and doing just that. Fixing the issues. I have so much hope in my heart for our relationship.


     The tension was drastically removed from our house once the couple that was staying with us left. It was such a great thing when I dropped them off at the airport and Kevin did not go with them. I was fearing that moment for so long and the day came, and he did not go. After we drove off, Kevin said that he was so glad he was still next to me. For days after he kept telling me how happy he was that he stayed. It was good to hear. I kept telling him how happy I was that he stayed. The other half of my heart is still next to me and that is an incredible feeling. I still have fears, I may always have them, that this will happen again. Once I have felt that pain I am terrified to feel it again. I never want to feel that lost again. I never want to face losing him again. It is a sickening feeling. But no matter my fears, I have hope. I have hope that the job situation will work out. I have hope the relationship will be stronger than ever. I have hope that all our dreams will come true.