Just Pray

This baby has been the joy that gets me through the day. This baby gives me something to look forward to in a world of unknowns. But the fear is horrible. I have always had worry for this baby. Of course I would, it is my child and I want the best. But ever since J passed, my fear is the worst it has ever been. There was a day where baby was moving all over the place and I loved it. Today, I have maybe felt baby move once or twice. If I was logical, I would tell myself that I was only supposed to start possibly feeling movement this week and that I do not need to worry just because baby is not flipping all over the place. But the fear outweighs the logical in my mind.
Did I hurt the baby when I sat with Kevin while I was telling him the news in the hospital?
Am I going to lose the biggest piece of my joy?
How do I ever know things will be alright if everything can be pulled out from under me in an instance.
Kevin got told yesterday that the job he was working on is now over and so he is now without a job. We had a great plan and he was willing to do what he needed to do to take care of his family, and now it is gone. Just another thing that has been thrown at us. I just am so emotionally exhausted. There is so much stress around me that when something like the baby not moving literally makes me want to start shaking my stomach and saying, "Come on baby, move, come on!" But I know that would A. stress the baby out. B. Accomplish nothing and then make me even more upset. So I just pray. That is all I can do about anything. Pray everything works out. Pray that baby cub is fine. Pray that this whole nightmare will be over soon.